I've been thinking alot lately about what it means to be a woman. Most of my life I have fought back against every pre-feminist-movement cliche that I could. I didn't want to end up like all of the sad, empty housewives that live in Frisco, Texas (aka Stepford). I still don't want to end up like them. I still want to be young and free and alive, but I'm learning more and more that commitment doesn't necessarily have to take away from being a woman with feminist ideals and freedom. I don't want to be someone who is against traditionalism.... just because. I want to have reasons for everything. I want to have a balance in my life.
I want to "grow up" and have a family. I just do. I have tried to deny my whole life that it's something that I want, because I thought that it was "too cliche" for me. I thought that I wanted to live my whole life in a van, going from Point A to Point B, drinking wine in Italy, and swimming in the Caspian. I still want to do those things, but I don't want to do them alone. I want to do them with someone that I love, and I want to be able to come home from all of that to a warm bed and to food in the fridge. I want some sense of stability in my life. I want a sense that my life matters to other people, and that's it's not just all for me and for my sole sense of freedom and adventure and independence. That's so selfish. I want recipe boxes and oversized couch pillows. I want to do laundry and roast tomatoes. I want to make dinner, listening to Nina Simone and talking about my day with another person. Another person who cares. Roommates who can't understand and who only mildly care are not the same as a person who can hold you in bed at night.
And maybe this fantasy life will never really happen. And if it doesn't I will create my own beauty, surrounded by friends and good meals and beautiful art. I will surround myself with nieces and nephews and great family and fabulous music. Life is only as beautiful as you make it.
cest le vie!,
molly
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So much inspiration! No matter how the future unfolds, if you hold onto these simple pleasures (alone OR w/ another) you will definitely experience joy & savor life.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, when you come to visit you better be ready to experience a few of life's greatest pleasures: movies @ the Alamo, pedicures, & lots of chocolate. :)
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ReplyDeleteI love your last line, "Life is only as beautiful as you make it." This is spot on. We create our own reality. Everywhere we go there we are. These are just a couple more lines to go with that. So well put, Molly. We control our reality. We may not be able to control what happens around us but the one thing we can control are our attitudes. Our attitudes are what make a bad thing manageable. Our attitudes are what make a good thing that much more good. Life is beautiful if you have a good attitude about life.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff, Molly. Love it. And you're either going to hate me or love me for this but "cest le vie" is "c'est la vie". :-) Hopefully you appreciate that.
Keep up the awesome writing!!